Nine psychological tasks for a good marriage
Research on what makes a marriage work shows that people in a good marriage have completed these psychological “tasks”:
- Separate emotionally from the family you grew up in; not to the point of estrangement, but enough so that your identity is separate from that of your parents and siblings.
- Build togetherness based on a shared intimacy and identity, while at the same time set boundaries to protect each partner’s autonomy.
- Establish a rich and pleasurable sexual relationship and protect it from the intrusions of the workplace and family obligations.
- For couples with children, embrace the daunting roles of parenthood and absorb the impact of a baby’s entrance into the marriage. Learn to continue the work of protecting the privacy of you and your spouse as a couple.
- Confront and master the inevitable crises of life.
- Maintain the strength of the marital bond in the face of adversity. The marriage should be a safe haven in which partners are able to express their differences, anger and conflict.
- Use humor and laughter to keep things in perspective and to avoid boredom and isolation.
- Nurture and comfort each other, satisfying each partner’s needs for dependency and offering continuing encouragement and support.
- Keep alive the early romantic, idealized images of falling in love, while facing the sober realities of the changes wrought by time.
Thanks to Judith S. Wallerstein, PhD, co-author of the book The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts.
February 17th, 2012 by Dr. Duane Green
Marriage and divorce are both common experiences. In Western cultures, more than 90 percent of people marry by age 50. Healthy marriages are good for couples’ mental and physical health. They are also good for children; growing up in a happy home protects children from mental, physical, educational and social problems. However, about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher. (Adapted from the Encyclopedia of Psychology)
What You Can Do
• Nine psychological tasks for a good marriage
Research on what makes a marriage work shows that people in a good marriage have completed these psychological “tasks.”
• Making stepfamilies work
Parents of a “blended family” face plenty of challenges, but there are things you can do to make communication easier and help children adjust to their new reality.
Getting Help
• Find a Psychologist http://spokanepsychiatryandpsychology.com
• Marital Education Programs Help Keep Couples Together
In the United States, couples marrying for the first time have approximately a fifty percent chance of divorcing. Psychologists are helping couples’ “I do” last a lifetime through development and application of scientifically tested relationship education programs
February 17th, 2012 by Dr. Duane Green
The vast majority of Americans are unfamiliar with new benefits created by the federal mental health parity law, according to a new survey conducted by the American Psychological Association. The poll found that 89 percent of those surveyed were not familiar with the law, which was passed in 2008 and mandated equal coverage for mental health and addiction benefits by insurance companies.
In the APA survey, which was conducted online by Harris Interactive among 2,940 adults in December 2010, nearly one-third of adults said they didn’t know if they had adequate mental health coverage and 45 percent said they were unsure if their insurance reimbursed for mental health care.
56 percent of the respondents selected cost of care as a reason why they or a family member might give for not seeking treatment. The other commonly selected reasons pointed to a need for improved communications about mental health treatment; not knowing how to find the right psychological professional (42 percent) and not knowing if seeking help is appropriate (40 percent).
One heartening result of the survey is in the area of stigma where our advocacy and education efforts have had a positive impact over the last decade. Historically, stigma has often been considered a major deterrent to seeking professional mental health care. However, only eight percent of adults cited stigma as a top reason for not seeking treatment. An equal number reported their top concern as privacy or confidentiality.
More than 26 percent of American adults have a diagnosable mental health disorder, but of those, only 33 percent are receiving care, according to data from the National Institute of Mental Health.
March 19th, 2011 by Dr. Duane Green
